Kiwi... Unleashed!

What do you call a woman who thinks her husband is stupid because he can�t seem to complete the simplest of household tasks? A stupid woman. That�s right, I said stupid. I�ll say it again. STOOPID. I�ll give them one point of leeway, and that is the fact that there do exist men who really are that retarded. I do believe however, that most of them, and might I point out far more than most wives would ever admit, aren�t quite the morons their wives would like to think they are.

I frequently hear women talk about their husbands who they say aren�t capable of cleaning up after the children, washing the dishes or going through the entire process of doing a load of laundry the proper way (wash, dry, fold, put away). Not capable, my ass. Let me tell you something ladies- they know damn well how to do those things- it�s not brain surgery, for Christ�s sake. Hell, I bet even the disciples left one hell of a mess on the table at the last supper. Just because they don�t do it, doesn�t mean they can�t.

Allow me to elaborate. I know women whose husbands are doctors, lawyers and scientists. They are by no means unintelligent people, yet I often hear their wives say, �How can such a smart man be so dumb?� Let me tell you something honey- they aren�t dumb. In fact, they�re more intelligent than you realize. That is because, you see, they are indeed smart- smart enough to know not to show just how smart they are. Smart enough to know, when asked to do some whatever chore, that if they do it well the first time they will no doubt be expected to do it again.

Do a half assed job and they might not be asked to do it the next time. Consistently do a piss poor job of doing household duties to these men means that their wives will eventually decide it�s easier to do it themselves. Thus they get out of having to do it in the future. I refer to this as the subtle male art of assisted facilitation. It is the ability of a husband to train his wife to be an enabler, and for those women I have absolutely no sympathy because they have allowed it to happen.

I�m sure a good number of women would disagree with this. I�m also sure that their disagreement would go hand in hand with denial. After all, how humiliating must it be to admit to yourself that your husband has little to no respect for you and the things you do? Some people might not equate their behavior with lack of respect, but I do. When you have a husband who sits on his ass in front of the TV while you clean up after the children, doesn�t pick up after himself or asks you if you need help after he knows you�re finished, you�re damn right it�s a lack of respect.

Bottom line is, if you want your husband to help clean up messes instead of being one, you have to learn to expect more from him than you do. You have to train him to be responsible or suffer the consequences. It may require standing up for yourself, being what he would probably call a stubborn bitch, and occasionally hiding the remote, but consistency is the key. Let it happen once and it will happen a thousand times. Nip it in the bud and he might think twice the next time.

A lot of women would say, �oh it�s not that easy, trust me- my husband will never learn�. Well sweetheart, you�ve got to try and not give up. If you don�t ask for respect you won�t get any, and if you enable your husband to get away with not doing his fair share, you deserve to have to pick up the slack. Marriage is a two way street, and no matter how great a Cadillac of a wife you think you are, you�re not going to get very far down it if you�ve got a half assed mechanic in the shop. As for the smaller details and plans of attack, feel free to pick your poison, and good luck to you, because with the monsters many of you have already created, you�re gonna need it.

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